STUMBLE: You Choose...

Spain is different. 
I think I forget that sometimes. 
On a normal “I love Spain” day, all of Spain’s differences seem so fascinating and novel. Most of my days are “ I love Spain” days, but not all of them. Last week I had one of my hardest days since I’ve been here and it definitely wasn’t an “I love Spain” day. The day was practically over and I was on my way to last period when the Administrative Assistant came up to and told me I needed to turn in my money for the carpool. I looked at him quizzically and said “what money?” This whole time I had been under the impression that I didn’t need to pay for the carpool, so when he told me that I owed 155Euros I was especially caught of guard–actually, I was dumfounded. #1 Because I didn’t think I had to pay for the carpool and #2 because I didn’t have the money to pay for it. Yes, I chose to go on sabbatical for a year but my student loans and other bills didn’t go on sabbatical with me. 
I could barely wait to find Alberto, my mentor, and ask him what was going on. He was the one that told me I didn’t have to pay in the first place, so to hear from Angel that I did have to pay (155Euros in fact) was really confusing. Alberto explained that the Auxiliar from 2009  hadn’t had to pay so he thought I didn’t have to pay either. Unfortunately, he told me this without confirming or telling this to anyone else; so I did have pay. AND NOW. UGHHH!!
 I can deal with the fact that businesses (including grocery stores) aren’t open on Sundays, I can deal with the fact that “Spanish Time” means someone or something is going to be about 20mins late, but the lack of communication is starting to wear on me. I will admit that I’ve had it pretty good so far. I have one friend that showed up to school and the administration hadn’t even communicated to the English dept. that they would have an auxiliar that year, so it could definitely be worse. I was just frustrated that I hadn’t inquired and confirmed this information myself, that Alberto shared the incorrect information with me, and that no one else shared with me that I would have to pay. Money is and always has been a sore subject for me. There always seems to be something-- I have to send money home to CO, a new bill pops up, or something unexpected happens... but it seems like I always have too much month at the end of my paycheck. Which means I have a lot of examples to pull from when I need to spiral. “Will I ever pay off school, How am I going to pay for graduate school, Will Cole and I ever have enough money to get married, WHY DID I COME TO SPAIN???
 OH I CAN SPIRAL. 
But in the midst of my spiral last week I looked down at my keyboard. I’ve been taping and re-taping the same quote to mirrors and other random places since my sophomore year in college. And it always reminds me that I have a choice. 
I. Chose. This. Life.
 I chose to come to Spain and I am grateful for this opportunity. I can choose to be angry with Spain, its people, and these “differences” but I have to choose to do that. So yes, there was a misunderstanding (and there always will be), but I get to choose how I handle them. 
I get to choose... 
whether to give up at the first obstacle, or give it my all. 
to speak up, or stay silent.
to change what I don’t like, or to let it change me. 
With every word and every step I take, I get to define who I am—and I create my own future.